Who's in your sister circle?

At the time my sorority started a sister circle that was meant to get us engaged for our 100 year founding date.To be honest, I was moderately/very uninterested in anything of the sort and made a couple of excuses before saying, “OK, I’ll do it” lol

My friend Veronica (super Zeta, I say) gathered a group of us from different chapters (universities), and different joining years. Luckily, I knew all of these women enough to commit to a long-term relationship. What I didn’t know at the time is how transformative our friendship, sisterhood, and bond would grow throughout the years. We were tasked with holding one another accountable, being sisterly, and engaging with one another - but we did sooo much more than this.

For over four years we have cried, debated, celebrated, and laughed until our sides hurt. We’ve taken braids and weave out, picked up each other’s children, gone to kindergarten graduations, games, and various family functions. I’ve grown so much from this sister circle. Without them I wouldn’t have the courage to walk into all of my dopeness as a black women professional. It doesn’t hurt that this group is filled with Bosses - no, seriously… almost everyone has a doctorate degree (jeeesshhh) and side hustles!

And… like most great friendships, the group chat is still filled with vent sessions, advice on how to navigate work politics, THERAPY, books we’re reading, shows we’re watching, and TikToks of food and nonsense.

This group of women have held me up when I felt inadequate, threw Laila a baby shower in the 9th hour, and we’ve all helped one another move homes at least once.

Pause. As I’m writing this I recognize the immense privilege it is to be surrounded by such women. This Sister Circle is not a fad, it’s not a “let’s grab a bite to eat and never meet up'' type of group. Our kids play together, our husbands like each other, and our Friendsgvings are pretty lit. This group is not a forced interaction, it's a genuine group that wants to be around one another. My hope as readers is that you find your circle of those you trust, can lean on, and find solace.

This blog doesn’t feel complete without some tips to navigate, cultivate, and engage with friends, sisters, and networks. While every group is different I do think some common concepts of a group should be considered

1. Keep an open line of communication

   1. Ours is a group chat and we also individually text one another.

   2. It’s inevitable that someone in the group may be misunderstood, have conflict, etc. It’s best to be upfront, honest, and sincere when addressing issues. Hopefully your friendship has given you insight into how you all like to be addressed

2. Set healthy boundaries for friendships and everything else.

   1. So I learned this from Carla in my Sister Circle, but she is amazing at setting boundaries in a myriad of areas in her life. This can mean many different things to different people, but are you maintaining time and space to be in community with one another? Are you understanding your limitations, energy level, and commitments? Do your boundaries feel doable and inclusive?

3. Don’t forget to water your friendship

   1. This goes without saying but loving on your friends is so important. When they call, try to answer! Do lunch, brunch, dinner, walks to stay active, etc. Friendship takes effort on both ends. Some days our friends can only give 20% and that’s OK. At “bigger ages” 😂 intent, sincerity, and care is so much more important than who’s giving more in the friendship (not to be confused with unequal friendships). What I’m getting at is you know if you’ve been the absent friend. Serious and hectic moments aside, we know if we are giving what we can to our friends.

While friendships are complicated, I am so blessed to have these sisters who uplift me and genuinely want to see me win.

I will FOREVER be my sister’s keeper 💙 🤍 🤗